It’s a rare treat. A lovely, luscious sensation that melts in your mouth like a dream, that rolls over your tongue like a wave of sinful satin, that surges your heart from normal rhythm to on-the-way-to-heaven bells. The smell will wake you from sleep like a lover who knows your deepest desires.
I have never eaten a lot of chocolate. There were a few favourites and I stuck to those. It’s like picking the best wine and choosing only that one. The pleasure of enjoyment came from the occasional treat immensely treasured as a moment to savour.
Addiction: I loved a hot chocolate made from real flakes of chocolate.
And then one day, I ate chocolate – and got hives! It turns out, I’m allergic to something in chocolate. Noooooooooooo!
Does it stop the nose from recognising that aroma? No. Does the mouth still water as I pass the most amazingly, deliciously perfumed shop? Yes.
Do I still want to eat chocolate? Yeeeeessssssss!
So, today I am going to eat chocolate.
It’s special. Something I’m not allergic to. Chocolate that isn’t chocolate. Not the real stuff. Hasn’t got the real bean.
But I’ll give it a go. I’ll try it. I’ll see what happens.
Why? Why, why, why?
There are so many other allergies, and I have a few of them, but why this one? What did I ever do to deserve this?
Oh, come on! I’m not going to admit to half the things I’ve done, but nothing – nothing! – is worthy of this punishment.
We have a special chocolate shop in Australia, so special they have security guards for the special chocolate days (well, a slight exaggeration – queue helpers more like), you know the ones, and the crowds are queued for hours to get what they need. You would, too, if you ever tasted one of their chocolates.
I have. Many times. And I walk past that shop like a drug addict. I sniff at the air, stand by the door as people go in and out, mouth open to get as much of the passing taste I can …
Sad, isn’t it?
And today, I’m going to eat chocolate. Not the real stuff, not the special stuff. The stuff that isn’t real chocolate.
Well, maybe I won’t eat chocolate today. Maybe I’ll go down to that shop and walk past and behave like a loiterer and a stalker and sniff the air around the people who do, who can, eat that chocolate.
And if I end up arrested, it was worth it.